” ~ wain~

2:20am @my bed. How could I go to bed really… My brother just received a full 4 year scholarship, studying in the School of Policy, Planning and Development of University of Southern California! I am so proud of my brother! YAY!!!!!!!!!

I was a bit sick and about to go to bed right before he told me this happiest news of my life. I am still tired but I just want to write down all my thoughts before I let the excitements pass.

First, I swear, I will do my best to get into one of the film school in California. Partly because yes I do love filming and I should pursuit my passion, but partly because of the possibility of living with my brother and possibly our mother! Just having the thought we could bring our mother to live with us in the US, to show her around this world is fascinating. There is so much we can do! And the most valuable thing for me is I can show her what I experienced! Not only that tiny limited Hong Kong point of view. I have no attempt to change her “HK the best” perspective, but at least I could expand her knowledge about this world, about what culture is. And I am not alone anymore, having my brother nearby with me; we could take care each other and make our mom proud.

Yay, all of a sudden my stresses are gone and I feel less sick. This is the best news I ever have in life, even better when I got accepted to Carleton. (hmm… maybe equally excited when I got into UWC). It is interesting to see how my brother and my path diverge and converge again. For most of my childhood I was felt left behind his shadow. He has too much talent, charm, and hard work, and mine was not well-recognized. I have to defend myself that being a 11-ish smart child would accept what is unfairness in the world. I was always seeking the way out and constantly refused to do what my brother did, unless I was sure I can do better.

Among all my rebellion acts, THE most successful one must be the day that I got accepted from UWC. Still remember running up and down the Castle Road and Seymour Road, grabbing the acceptance letter from my friend’s fax machine, and screaming to my mom I was going to study in the US, without needing you any money. It wasn’t just about money. It is about finally I am being noticeable, to become outstanding, and to feel with pride and elation. There was nothing to share, I was leaving all alone. I was selfish. I misunderstood my mom’s wisdom and love. (I am crying writing this story because I am about to forgive myself, to put down the heaviest burden of my life…)

Now it is my brother’s turn to study in the US. And I am just truly happy for him. There’s no showing off or rebellion. It is all about enjoying and sharing our fruitful hard work. My brother deserves his admission, and so do us who deserve to feel proud and happy for him. There is no selfishness no more. Our family unites.

Good heart and work hard, education can change our lives.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 7th, 2007 at 2:20 am and is filed under feeling good~. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.