confession is selfish
5:19pm @Burton laundry. Here is a typical triangle relationship scenario: there is a couple that has been together for some time. Then one of them went abroad for some reasons. While they are working hard to maintain the long distance relationship, either one of them somehow involve having an affairs with a third person. The part how that was developed is irrelevant, what is important is that s/he still loves his/her overseas partners more the whole time. Later on s/he ends that relationships decisively and is going back to her/his previous partner. Knowing that her/his partner will never find out, s/she is struggling whether or not telling the truth.
I used to think that honesty, or confession is gold. It requires great courage to do so and often our sins/guilt will then be forgiven. And in a situation mentioned above, I would definitely tell my partner everything because I believe that being able to communicate with a partner honestly is the key to the success of the relationship.
But now I think I am a bit more flexible and in the situation above, I would not bother telling my partner anything about it. We feel guilty and thus we want to confess and hope for forgiveness. By telling the unknown truth, which will definitely hurt your partner’s confidence to you, you are only transferring your own burden to your partner. You may relieve your guilt, since it is the right thing to confess, but you forget to consider your partner’s feeling after your confession. Instead, why don’t we turn that courage to confess into something that will actually make your partner feel happier?
Most of the time we confess because we want ourselves to feel better. But then we ignore the feeling of our audience, since the purpose of confession is to ask for forgiveness. But yet not all guilt can be forgiven. We could always give out a lot, but often we forget they are not necessarily what others want.
Thanks Ryan.